i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
