She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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