I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
