Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
