I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
