How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
