Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
