Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
