Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
