Just cropdusted the office
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
