Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
