My Higher Power is John Stamos
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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