It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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