champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
