So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
