There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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