We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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