I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
