is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
