Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
