Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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