sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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