my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
