i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
