should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
