Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
