Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
