Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
