i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
