Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
