Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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