the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
