what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
