do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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