I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
