Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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