So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
