she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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