Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
