i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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