Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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