did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
