Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
