I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
home. puking in laundry basket.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
