He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
