how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
