I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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