Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
