but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
