The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
